Panic sets in
Miles cycled over the weekend – zero
An entire weekend went by and the closest I got to cycling was looking at cycle cameras.
If you go to Google Earth and then get directions from Marrakech to Oukaimeden, you will get some perspective on the journey. I have a sore neck looking at the climb.
Next week – I am determined to cycle more (Today is Weds and I have managed 30 miles on the flat)
There is indeed a Plan B!
The absence of a stoker for the tandem has made it as impractical to cycle as it is to air-freight it.
So, allowing for my long emotional attachment to this particular marvel of engineering, the amount of miles I have ridden them – Dunwich Dynamos and all – it gives me great pleasure to announce Plan B(rompton).
Yup, the Brompton is the new steed for this challenge. I may not ruin my Oratory jacket (yes, I do own one) to be too on brand, however, I think my nearly 380g of 6 speed, P-type tourer will be more than up for the job.
And, thinking about it, could be a good bit of marketing for this West London outfit – makes a change for the commuter convenience, suits and boots image that they tend to be stereotyped by.
Imagine all the big boy teams with their pre-training trip and a week’s localisation in the Atlas (yes, it’s true) been juxtaposed to the Brompton rocking up on the plane the previous evening, being unfolded and doing the do… Gotta be worth a small consideration sponsorship-wise?
Anyone know who heads up their marketing team?
Hmm, the last fortnight has flown by. There has been a lot of work and some bad behavior against all New Year’s good intentions.
Somewhere among this there has been some cycling, Mr Gurney came to the party in style by immediately breaking a bike, my usual Brompton with child seat and passenger was accompanied by the less usual squeaks from said passenger at the snow. A few runs up Highgate Hill West and Swains Lane which, as usual, hurt (I anyone finds my lungs…). And some small amount of time on the trainer. Despite all this, the majority of cycling related activity has been regretting all the broken good intentions…
On the bright side a weekend of sledging counts as exercise that involves climbing. Then again, the weekend off to celebrate a birthday with old friends – although the birthday girl is not as old as the rest of us – involved no more that climbing out of a cab while under the influence…
So
Week 4
I read the second volume of “100 Greatest Cycling Climbs” which is aptly titled “Another 100 Greatest Cycling Climbs” and the best advice it offers is “to climb hills effectively, you need to be light – Fat people find it very hard to climb hills”. This is followed by “oh and make sure you have a light bike – shed unnecessary weight, like brakes etc etc”.
After last week’s flurry of exericse, I was convinced that I must have shed at least 10kg . I hopped on the scales and to my utter disgust discovered that not one of Europe’s finest grammes had left the temple which is now my body.
FACT – Drinking beer and red wine patently does not make you fat.
FACT – Exercise as a method of losing weight does not work
Here is the week
21st Jan
Cycyled to work on trusty steed
No opportunity to skive off during lunch
Last week’s posting has generated considerable interest from the Linked in commuity so hopefully the money will start coming in – THERE IS A PLEASE DONATE BUTTON AT THE |TOP OF |BLOG..
Thought about the turbo trainer but was encouraged to partake in DIY
22nd Jan
Miles cycled 0 but did investigate hotels in Morocco
Hotels booked 0
Today was an all day offsite with the promise of copious amount of alcohol afterwards.
Diet coke and a lemonade for me!!!!!
Turbo miles NONE
23rd Jan
Usual jaunt into work
Cycled up and down Annerley Hill (Crystal Palace) twice – it was very slow and painful – No need to get a cadence computer as I could count the RPM per minute.
24th Jan
Decided it was time to launch an ascent on Swains Lane (Highgate). This is the nearest to the etape you can get in London.
http://www.goinggoingbike.com/blog/the-great-road-climbs-of-london-swains-lane/
It is about 1.2kmn long and has a max gradient of 18% – perfect Etape training
James Tuffs arrived on trusty Brompton and we set off to conquer mount Swain.
Swains Lane truly is formidable. – OK Northerners, it’s just a road and yes it’s not cobbled and yes you don’t generally need oxygen or sherpas to carry your bike but to us London folk it’s scary. It’s average gradient is 12% and there is a nasty 18% at the end.
Mr Gurney(me) on his trusty cyclocross bike was struggling and half way up heard a worrying twang. Oh no, he thought, my ligament, tendon, etc had snapped under the pressure.
Fear not, it was simply two spokes breaking. That fantastic chain of cycle shops, it transpired had fitted the wrong sized spokes.
Meanwhile the Ouka Beast (Mr. Tuffs) was ascending Mt Swain like he was riding on the flat.
NOTE to all you mockers of the small wheels, the gearing on a Brompton is simply fantastic. If anyone from Bronpton is reading this blog, I’d seriously consider sponsoring the Tuffcall cycling team on this epic journey. Think of the publicity opportunities – TuffCall team take the Touring Brompton across the Atlas Mountains. More than happy to take photos at top of ascent in return for a small consideration.
Anyway reached the top, suprised I could still breathe and we set off down again. Technically this is against the law as it’s a one way street but everyone seems to do it. Noticed a person on a mountain bike climbing up with little evidence of pain. Perhaps a mountain bike (the clue is in the name) should be considered for this ride. I will investigate further.
Upon reaching level ground, what does the Ouka Beast suggest – yup round two. I immediately pretended that I had an urgent phone call to make and declined. Phew close one there.
Quicker than expected, he returned. How does an unfit 17st man riding what is essentially a fold up commuter bike do it. BROMPTON you need to sponsor us – the opportunities are endless. – Tour de France 2014 – Cav and Wiggo riding for team Brompton.
Returned to work and recovered with a large bowl of pasta.
25th Jan
Shock horror – The scales have spoken. I have lost weight. 2lbs have gone. I am in the zone.
Cycled to work on bike 2. This is actually the better bike but it’s always broken.
Today however, it too is in the zone. No clangs, grinds or mechanical glitches.
The Ouka Beast cannot make Swains Lane so I seriously think about giving it a miss. But No, I am in the zone.
I “depart for a meeting at Bankside” and head off to Highgate.
Ascent one went surprisingly well and being a law abiding citizen, I cycle down Highgate West Hill.
What to do?
If the next car to go past is maroon colour, I’ll try a second lap. Guess what, the last surviving Hillman Avenger which only came in maroon goes up Swains Lane.
Ascent two – I am in uncharted territory. Extremely difficult but I made it. A carbon fibre bike is defintiely easier but I need more gears.
26th Jan
Unlikely to be any cycling as mum and brother is visiting.
Starting to look forward to the Ouka but somewhat worried that it’s exactly three months away..
PLEASE MAKE A DONATION – IT IS FOR A VERY GOOD CAUSE
As you will have read, encouraged by James’ plan to cycle the Marrakech Etape on a tandem and fortified by copious amounts of red wine, I paid my 60 euros to ride with the best. It coincides with my birthday so I thought combine the two. He has also rather foolishly allowed me to contribute to the blog so I feel it only right and proper that I get blogging. My 1st ever blog contribution. This will be a long one and then I’ll try to give a training summary on a weekly basis
1st off, I googled Etape.
E`tape´
| n. | 1. | A public storehouse. |
| 2. | (Mil.) Supplies issued to troops on the march; | |
| 3. | In Russia, a prison or stockade for the confinement of prisoners in transit. |
Not quite sure where cycling fits in but I have been reliably assured that it more commonly refers to an event where the masses are allowed to ride a stage of the Tour de France.
Ah Ha, it now starts to make sense – the tour is going to Africa and not Corsica.
The Marrakech Etape’s website, says the following:
“This is an inclusive event (no aggressive broom wagon) with 2 routes to choose from: 140km and 60km. The full ascent will challenge the serious amateur or even professional rider, as well as passionate and determined cyclists who just wants to do this monster of a climb with the exhilaration of the descent”. Apparently, the broom wagon is a truck that scoops up “slow riders” so I’m not sure about the wisdom of its omission. Might have a word with the organiser.
Being someone who likes to be prepared, I’ve done a spot of digging, – The 2013 Tour de France will climb Mt. Ventoux and I will be climbing Mt. Oukaïmeden. Ventoux has approximately 1600m of altitude gain and Mt. Oukaïmeden has an altitude gain of over 2000m. What does that mean? No idea, but it sounds like I’m climbing to a ski resort.
I’ve consulted with a couple of friends of mine at the Dulwich Paragon and there was much merriment. To be accurate, it ranged from full on guffaws to serious concerns about my mental state. I, apparently, do not fall into any of the categories suggested by the promotional advertising. It would appear that a cyclist who has developed a liking for track cycling – Herne Hill Velodrome www.hernehillvelodrome.com/ and a hatred of hill climbing is not their target audience.
Given the level of training that Mr. Tuffs seems to have signed up to, I confess to being more than a little worried, especially considering his prowess on a Brompton.
So, down to preparation and training.
Week 1
Preparation
Went on the wagon on Jan 1st and much to my surprise am still on said wagon. Absolutely no effect on weight (beer has been replaced by chocolate biscuits).
Dusted off turbo trainer and remembered it was broken – now fixed
Bought a book – Another 100 great hill climbs
Very scary reading
Fitted bike to turbo trainer and promptly fell off – need a special skewer
Skewer fitted
Miles cycled this week – 17
Week 2
Back to work so actually cycled over 80 miles during the course of the week.
Printed out the route of the Etape and discovered it comprises of 40km of climbing with an average gradient of 7% – That is like spending all day cycling up Highgate West Hill without the down part and certainly without the option of stoping at the Flask PH for a rest.
Discovered that Mr. Tuffs has made two ascents of Swains Lane in Highgate – This is a formidable achievement. For any Northerners out there, this is a mere pimple compared to the hills ooop North but to a London person, this is the highest and steepest mountain in all London – Chapeau I say.
There was a plan to cycle up Swains Lane on Friday but this was curtailed due to work.
However, did cycle past home and up to Crystal Palace.
Saturday – took oldest son to the velodrome and then spent a couple of hours pedalling up and down the hills around Crystal Palace. – It’s a start!!!!
Week 3
14th Jan
Still on the wagon although very very tempted and zero weight loss although confirmed chocolate biscuits are the cause so they are off the menu.
Cycled 15 miles (work and pretty flat)
Had a spell on the turbo but too cold in the cellar.
15th Jan
No cycling – had to do school run
16th Jan
Cycled 15 miles (work and pretty flat)
Convinced myself that more expensive wheels are needed if I am to summit the Ouka
Spent large chunk of evening looking at wheels. – didn’t buy any
Time on turbo -0
17th Jan
Cycled 15 miles (work and pretty flat)
Discovered that it is quite problematic taking a bike on a plane – you need a large box.
Spent large chunk of evening looking at bike boxes
Time on turbo -0
18th Jan
Fitted new pedals to bike so I could wear my Christmas present super warm cycle boots – They are brilliant but new pedals are taking some getting used to.
Cycled like a mad thing to work and hurt knee – oh dear
Booked flights to Marrakech – due to a number of contributing factors – I’m flying out on a Saturday, cycling on Sunday and flying back Monday. So much for birthday excitement. Still, given that Marrakech is officially “dry”, probably not a bad thing.
Rented bike box
Started snowing so ride home was interesting to say least.
Time on turbo -0
19th Jan
Spent an hour on turbo – Hooray whilst watching a video of someone cycling up La Marmotte. I have quite a way to go….
20th Jan.
My training has peaked. As well as this cycling lunacy, I’m supposed to be learning to ice skate. All of the family except me are reasonably good and Sunday is skating day. Well not today. Today, with snow on the ground, my plans to go to Box Hill are scuppered (hooray). Instead, there are two hours of 70s Dub Reggae on Spotify and I’m planning a turbo trip to Ventoux. Can’t find the video so it’s La Marmotte again. Managed a very steady 1.5 hours, which is polite for slow.
My plans for a second evening session turned into 2 hours of snowballing and sledging at Crystal Palace.
Knackered
Henry Peacock’s article on the ‘Ouka Monster’ is featured today on Cyclo Sport.
http://www.cyclosport.org/15-Jan-2013/news/the-marrakech-atlas-etape—uk-interest-is-rising.html
UK interest in the event is apparently on the up and he currently mentions this team at the end of the first paragraph – straight after reference to the Dulwich Paragon CC and Kingston Wheelers.
After them is pretty much how it will be on the day as well, it has to be said.
Thanks for the mention!
Thanks are due to:
The support is very much appreciated!
http://www.justgiving.com/tuffcall
Not a mathematical failure on my part, I realise this is not strictly a full week, but it’s easier to write an update at the weekend.
If this was a ‘Biking Bridget Jones Blog’, I would start this off with the weeks stats, some notes about my diet and where it all went wrong – which naturally it did – all neatly rounded off with a simpering comment or three and an update on my weight.*
Tue 08
5am and I am the turbo trainer powering through some mountains or other. .. The trick is not to be lulled into a false sense of security – the guys who filmed the DVD did so from a car, one that is moving a lot faster than a cyclist – as cars tend to. Visually I am flying, however, the legs are screaming and the cadence is low – so low that I have seen faster South American revolutions. There are not many who use regime change as a format of measurement.
To make matters worse I downloaded a 12 week training manual that is so intimidating it is tiring to look at.
The Brompton had an extended run to Paddington as I had to travel to Slough – Betjeman was sooo right…
Wed 09
It is starting to sink in that this bike ride is up a mountain. I am either very slow on the uptake or insane. Swains Lane in Highgate hits 18% just off the top (making it sound like a January sale) but I get up it on the Brompton – and then do it again.
So, good effort, just wondering if I can do that 36 times in a row without the downhill breathers in between…?
More loo roll please..
Thur 10 / Fri 11
Minimal cycling to and from the office, cancelled Highgate ride with Chris who pedals towards the winking cigarette of Crystal Palace in my absence.
Work deadlines take over, I start at 4am and finish with 50 minutes to spare before the kids wake up – on the bright side my lying down to get up may count as a sit-up that I can tick off the training regime…
By Friday evening I need a drink – will power? Well it doesn’t kick in so much as close the door on the way out…
Slim Jims, Ice (lots), squeeze lime, caressed glass, free-poured Gin (lots), splash of bitters and fever tree tonic – perfect time and again as indeed it proved.
Sat 12
Rest day – shattered. Potter with Justine and the kids, have lunch at the local restaurant (the fire station) and then curl up in front of a film.
The evening provides an opportunity to update this, mainly as an excuse to pretend I am not getting emotionally involved with Double Jeopardy (the new one). A tear was shed…
The lack of a stoker is making me think of doing this on a Brompton – partly as it is small enough to fold in a cab if it all goes wrong…
*And, for those who may be interested
Thanks are due to:
The support is very much appreciated!
http://www.justgiving.com/tuffcall
So, among other things, I thought I’d try and keep a record of mine and the team’s training – naturally the latter will require a team so I will kick off with just mine 🙂
Tue 01 Jan 2013
Partying until the kids awake – perfect endurance training to kick off with.
Time to battle the bottle, fight the flab and shape up – 2013 here I come (via the alka-seltzer, a red bull and three lucazade)
Wed 02
On day two it takes all my energy to work out the instructions of how to assemble the turbo trainer. There are a disconcerting number of spare parts remaining.
Allowing for the earlier cycle to and from the office (13m round trip) I call it a night
Thurs 03
Wear cycling clothes to drive the children and the Brompton into town. Drop the car and offspring at my mothers and pedal round the corner to the office – I am cheating no one but myself.
You Tube video evidence shows the assembly is correct, however, having it in the middle of the kitchen probably isn’t ideal.
Regardless, I pop in the training DVD and give it a go. I select the shortest steepest descent on offer and set off in a low gear – wonderful feeling, although as I start thinking the addition of a fan may be an idea to give it that ‘wind in the hair’ vibe I get carried away and lean into a corner too much and tip over. In my excitement I forgot that it is isn’t real – still three minutes, it’s a start!
Fri 04
Do the work thing with the car and bike again. I wonder why I bother with cycling gear as all I end up doing is adding baggy over layers to hide the lack of bulge in some areas and excess of it in others.
If I ever do lose weight I may try the Mamil thing (middle aged men in lycra).
On the subject of weight I purchased some new scales from Asda and I have gone from 16 stone (old scales) to 15.5 or 97kgs as it is in new money – a complete result.
To celebrate this and almost a week off the bottle for the first time in three decades Justine and I crack open the fizz which is followed by a second for good measure – not exactly what was planned.
Sat 05
My partner can’t get the time off school for the ride (she’s a teacher before any wrong conclusions are jumped to) so I am now minus a stoker on the tandem – maybe time for a bike change.
She is, kindly, still able to extract several shades of urine at my attempts to get fit – apparently as I hit the final hill at around 35 minutes in on the turbo trainer my breathing sounds like ‘a recently constipated person passing a football’! She’s all charm.
Sun 06
Chris Gurney has paid his money to enter and the team is back up to two again – like Justine and myself, he is another natural hill climber with the advantage of a few more years of experience. Yup, as unfit and even older!
Rather smugly, I did another 45 minutes on the trainer and finished with a flourish – I had to, my son was watching. Thankfully, I managed to hold back the tears until I’d dragged my lactic filled body out of the room…
Mon 07
Rest day(ish) – ride my daughter to and from nursery as well as make it to the office minus the car – a grand total of 13 miles, 8 of these were done with an additional 3 stone of passenger which easily tips us over the maximum weight a Brompton is designed to carry – and that’s before we add the luggage…
All of which leaves me with enough energy to start this blog…
'Tuffcall' 